You remind me of a boy I knew

I

You remind me of a boy I knew
when I was nineteen
(and he was 19)
with a delicate mouth that carved
sweet words out of nothing -
I saw whole sonnets of love
in the eyes of that child
and My world shook

II

It breaks me this longing
this remembering that we come
from a world of love
from a better home than this one
a world of floating gods
and unrestraint
we come from a cry of joy
that melts you down
and doesn't say "I'm sorry"

I live each day
in a world of : eating lunch,
fixing shoes,
buying a pass
to get to and from work.
Boring dead everyday life
I forget magic,
I forget who I am,
I forget where I came from.

I

I loved that boy
for himself
for who I was
when I was with him
I never told him that
But maybe if I confess it to you -
how he arranged
my covers on the angle
or how he linked
our drinks with the wrapper
of a straw, bridging
more than our two glasses -
it will make up for
the long long years that
keep me from him,
the "why didn't I say something"s
and the dull ache
when I read his letters
all over again
heart banging
to be let out.